Heathen Parenting
A brief note on raising Asatru children in modern society.
Kids! What can I say? They do some of the craziest things that you could imagine. They also ask some of the best questions that I have ever heard and they have no problems telling it like it is or speaking their minds. Like our Gothi Haakon I am also a husband and a PROUD father of three. Unlike him I am forced to travel the globe quite extensively. This works for our kindred because we take care of each other in the absence of another. My boys always have an adult man around to talk to in their fathers absence. I believe that my sons are my greatest investment in the future for myself, my blood and my kin. Therefore it is in all our best interest to treat them as an investment. The Edda's and Saga's are full of stories of men who understood the importance of raising honorable men to carry their names. It is my observation that that system of morals has long been forgotten. With the invention of video games for the kids and digital cable and the internet for moms and dads. There is surely a communications breakdown within the communications equipment revolution. My suggestion to fix this is a simple one. Play with your kids! Read with your kids! Teach your kids! It has been left up to the PROFESSIONAL EDUCATORS long enough. Once you begin to earn your children's trust you can gain their respect and admiration. Then and only then will you begin to see a difference in their behavior and a deep "want" to be like mom or dad. That is where you begin.
Children absorb information like a sponge and usually spit that information back in your face when you are wrong. Example: "But you said to……" "Forget what I said ...Just do what your told". Are we beginning to see the problem? The better answer would be "lets try both ways and see which one is better". An answer like that will build trust and breakdown the tension.
Raising Asatru children compounds those little problems because you also get those nasty little question that you hope to avoid. Such as: Daddy…...Why don't we go to church like all the other kids in my class? Or …...How come none of my friends ever heard of Odin? Those are big questions when you are not prepared for them. This is where the Kindred comes in. Children get the chance to communicate with other Asa-kids in a child-like way. They get the opportunity to see that they are not the only kids in the world that are Asatru. Children do not like to be singled out and will usually make every effort to not stand out in the crowd for fear of harassment by the others. Kindred gatherings give the kids a chance to act like kids and discuss the gods in their own way. Maybe play games like "Ill be Thor and you be Odin………. Lets get Loki…... AAAHHHHHH!" That is where the simple game of tag turns into a learning experience. And more importantly a COMMUNICATIONS breakthrough. They cant get that anywhere but in a kindred. Of course it can get a bit hectic with all those little berserkers running around but we find the time to celebrate our gods.
When the time comes for Blot... What do the kids do?
Im glad you asked! It is up to them. They can join us if they feel so inclined but they know they have to follow the rules in the Ve. If they are having fun playing than they can continue as long as they do not disturb the Ritual. They understand this and there is no pressure put on them. I will not tell my boys that they have to wear their Thor's Hammer. But you can bet that they see old dad wearing his all the time. They will then begin to come to you ask you questions that is your opportunity……….. GRAB IT! a simple answer to a child's questions are selling them short. If they ask it is because they are interested don't let that opportunity slip by. Example: KID: Daddy Thor carries a hammer… right? DAD:YEA! The conversation has just ended. Try this one on for size: KID: Daddy Odin just has one eye…. Right? DAD: yea Do you remember why? KID he traded it for a drink…. right? DAD: yup, Why do you think he would do that? KID: I don't know! DAD: Would you like me to tell you the story? BINGO!!! It doesn't even matter what his answer is you have just communicated. The attention span is short sometimes but they may want it as bedtime story. And they know that you are interested. The benefit for you is YOU get to read the Saga's and Edda's and believe it or not the questions of a child may just open up a view that you haven't thought about.
That sounds fine but my wife/husband is not Asatru. What about our kids?
I cannot speak from personal experience on this one but I do have a comment. I have in my lifetime known of people with interfaith marriages and this is my discovery. IT DOESN'T MATTER!! If the children see you squabbling over which religion they will be. They will just lose interest all together. If you have a truly mutually supporting marriage this shouldn't be a problem at all. You simply teach them both religions the same way. No pressure. It is just something that has to be worked out and understood that the house has a lot of gods in it. How can that be bad? If the kid wants to thank Thor and Jesus in the same prayer LET THEM. I am pretty sure that Thor don't mind. I cant speak for the other guy. As far as the kindred is concerned bring them along too. There wont be any of the old "I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES ON AT THOSE THINGS…….BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE PEOPLE!" We are just one big (usually) happy family. And your significant other will always be made as welcome as anyone else, that is the way of our people. Provided he/she doesn't bad mouth our gods in our home. That is just a good way to get bounced out on their ear.
I'm going to close this article by saying that it took me many years before I sought out a kindred to join. My biggest fear was that I didn't know what to expect. There really are a lot of good and honest folk out there and I have been fortunate enough to meet a few of them. My entire family has benefited from that one simple e-mail that took me six years to write. I can only wonder about how much better off we would have been and all great people I could have met if I had written it back then.